I am blown away by the other reviews on this
resort. I have to believe that
they were left by owners pitching what they have
to sell. The photos of the
rooms here on this site are totally bogus. We
stayed the 2nd week of April
2008. The Velas has very rude staff, except for
the pool service people that
we came into contact with. The doormen never smile
or greet you. They
don’t even say hello or excuse me when they ask
for your room number each
time you walk through the front entrance.
The counter people are robots that seem to hate
their jobs. Check in is a
chore. The lobby decor is sparse and very
non-descript. The vast majority of
the guests are obese, and they graze on the
"all-inclusive" food and
beverage all day long while beaching themselves by
the pool. It is both
entertaining and disgusting to watch. The room
decor and furniture are
minimal at best, and there is not a hint of color
to be found. There is a silly
one-card-one-towel policy at the pool, even though
they gave us 2 cards for
4 people. The staff at the towel hut is
argumentative and rude. Thirty bucks
for a lost towel or card.
There is no need to order any non-alcoholic
drinks, as they all come that
way. The food at "La Ribera" by the pool is awful.
We began calling it "La
Basura" or The Trash after our first and last
purchase there. The evening
dessert display is visually appealing, but is
inedible. The prices are absurd
and the good service is reserved for the locals
only. I think that a big issue at
this resort is the all-inclusive arrangement. We
opted out of that nonsense
from the get-go. Everything they serve is mediocre
at best, except for La
Andrea, the 2nd restaurant on the property. We
started buying our 12 dollar
burgers there. The all-inclusive guests reminded
us that we could just get
the pool boy to bring us stuff from La Basura.
They had apparently never
thought to extricate themselves from the lounge
chair and walk 50 yards to
get food that was 100 times better than what was
available at their chair.
Another irritating thing is the pool-side music.
Why in the world would I
travel to another country only to listen to twenty
and thirty year-old
American rock songs by the pool? Where's the
Mexican music? What they
played was way too loud and it just drives you nuts.
There is an outfit called Vallarta Adventures that
has an in-pool scuba thing
on site and the teacher is an unmotivated
potty-mouthed little American
chick that really thinks she's something special.
She dropped three "f bombs"
within 5 feet of us when she thought she had lost
her goofy sunglasses. It
turned out that they were right there in her purse
the whole time. No
apology, but that's no surprise.
Walking to and from the marina for meals was a
treat. The local people that
walk toward you will absolutely not give you one
inch on the sidewalk. They
will run you off onto the grass without even a
thought. This happened so
many times that I finally realized that they
really don't like us being in their
country. They kiss up during the day because they
have to, but on their own
time, we are trash under their feet. Forget about
taking a taxi, as they will
charge you 4 bucks to drive 4 blocks.
The timeshare pitches and tour salespeople around
P.V. are endless and
extremely rude and annoying. You can't go anywhere
without the calls from
people trying to sell you this and that. Tours,
atv rides, canopy zip lines,
snorkeling trips, etc. All day, every day. When I
was a kid, I remember a lot
of cockroaches in Mexico. There are less of the
little ones now, but I think
they've morphed into timeshare and tour salesmen
instead. Just like
cockroaches, they hide in little spaces until its
time to spring out on
unsuspecting prey. Do yourself a favor and ignore
these vultures, if you can.
They are the plague of an otherwise decent place.
Because of them and the
ridiculous food prices, we are unlikely to return
to Mexico any time soon. It's
back to Hawaii for some real hospitality. Mexico
used to be a bargain, and
that allowed us to overlook the list of negatives,
but no more. The prices are
ludicrous and, frankly, all but one meal was
disappointing. We have better
Mexican food in Colorado.
Timeshare sales at the Velas are equally as
annoying. They call your room
daily and they won't give up. I told them that
their place was so
unimpressive that I would never buy there and they
still kept calling! Well,
we were ultimately able to ditch them, but barely.
Each night, the drunken, overfed all-inclusive
guests drag themselves into
the lobby/lounge for some very cheesy
entertainment...and drinks of
course. We began calling this the "adult summer
camp" because of the
immature nature of the entertainment. Mimes,
casino night and mariachis,
and always the ever-present free drinks.
Alcohol-free that is! These half-
dead zombies just sit there in the middle of the
room on Target-
quality chairs and tables, squeezing every dime
out of there 100/day/person
all-inclusive rate. These people are consuming
12,000 calories a day and not
blinking an eye! Eat in the morning, eat and drink
all day long at the pool,
hoist themselves up in the evening and go to
dinner and dessert, then to
the lobby for drinks and cruddy entertainment! It
is pathetic and depressing,
but heck, it's "free"!
Oh, I must mention the blasted peacocks on the
property. They wake you up
at 5:30 every morning with their high-pitched
squealing every 15 seconds.
Who in their right mind thought it would be a good
idea to bring these
things to a place where people overpay for rest
and relaxation? I swear I was
ready to strangle one of these dumb birds! The
white one jumped up and
attacked my son, leaving a permanent scar on his
arm. Beware!
Another thing is the turn-down service, usually at
4:00 in the afternoon. You
come back from the pool at 6:00 or 7:00 and mess
the whole place up getting
ready to go to town to search out some reasonably
priced food (a hard task)
and then you have to call down to the front desk
upon your return because
you have no clean towels left for the morning.
Some days, the initial maid
service didn't even occur until after 4:30 pm!
Anyway, you can probably guess that we would
never, ever stay at the Velas
Vallarta again...under any circumstances. My
overall rating is a 2, rescued
only by the immaculate condition of the grounds.
If not for that, I would
rate the place a 1 1/2, max. The rooms are a 2.
The elevators are so small
that only 4 normal-sized people will fit in them.
You pay for every little
thing. No free coffee in the lobby like everywhere
else. No free internet
access…anywhere on the property. Three dollar
water at the pool. Charge
here, charge there. It gets old really fast. If
your vacation time and money
are important to you, go elsewhere!
